Why Should I Speak to a Therapist When I Have Friends?
Has anyone told you to seek therapy?
For some, this comment can feel invalidating and stigmatizing, but in many cases, it is the best advice a friend or family member can give you. It is common for people who haven’t been to therapy to compare it to speaking with friends. However, I am here to tell you that there are significant differences between friendship and a therapeutic relationship.
1. Therapy is confidential.
One of the primary distinctions between speaking to a therapist and confiding in a friend lies in the realm of confidentiality and boundaries. When you speak to a therapist, you are engaging in a professional relationship bound by confidentiality agreements and ethical standards. This means that what you share within the confines of therapy remains private and protected by law, with few exceptions such as harm to self or others.
On the other hand, confiding in a friend may not always guarantee the same level of confidentiality. While friends strive to support and keep your secrets, they may inadvertently share information or be unable to maintain discretion due to their personal connections and relationships. Understanding this boundary can influence the depth and extent to which you share your innermost thoughts and vulnerabilities.
2. Therapists provide objective guidance.
Another key distinction is the nature of the guidance and perspective offered by a therapist versus a friend. Therapists undergo extensive training and education to provide objective insights and evidence-based interventions tailored to your unique needs. They offer a non-judgmental space where you can explore your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors without fear of bias or criticism. Therapists are trained to help you gain clarity, develop coping strategies, and navigate challenges in a constructive manner.
Conversely, friends offer support from a personal perspective shaped by their own experiences, beliefs, and values. While friends can provide empathy, validation, and understanding, their advice may be influenced by their emotional investment in the relationship. Friends may offer valuable insights based on their understanding of your personality and history, but their perspectives may not always align with professional expertise or evidence-based practices.
3. A therapist prioritizes your feelings and experiences.
The therapist’s main priority is helping you, listening to you and validating you. Their job is to give you their full, undivided attention, and is a unique experience that many friendships can’t provide. Unlike a friendship which requires give and take, therapy is your time to talk about you and your life. You do not have to feel guilty for taking up time or making the conversation solely about you.
4. Therapy is more than talking.
Therapy not only serves a space to focus on yourself, but also provides opportunities to learn from the therapeutic relationship between the client and therapist. This relationship can help clients acquire a range of skills from emotional regulation and communication skills to assertiveness and conflict management.
Read How does a therapeutic relationship build personal skills.
