Friends Forever? When to Call it Quits
Friendships serve multiple functions in our lives, providing opportunities for connection, fun, and relationships outside our families. Though friendships differ in strength, closeness, and how often you see each other, these interactions should positively impact your life. To achieve these healthy connections, we must ‘weed out the garden’ and evaluate what relationships lift us versus weigh us down.
Regardless of age, clients generally experience at least one toxic or unhealthy friendship. Whether it formed as a result of an environment, such as work or school, or has been a friendship from childhood, it is crucial to identify these relationships and to evaluate if they are worth having in your life. If you are unsure if a relationship is no longer benefiting you or is causing harm, refer to the toxic friendship traits below:
Use putdowns and challenge your self-worth
Not supportive
Constantly make you question yourself (feelings, experiences, choices, etc.)
Guilt you into hanging out with them or doing favors for them
Not respectful of your boundaries
Dismiss your feelings and perspectives
Gaslighting you
Act aggressively or passive-aggressively
Seeking your attention through dramatic behaviors
Draining your emotional and mental energy
Increase negative thoughts and worries
Cause you to fear upsetting them
Make you paranoid
Have a high level of co-dependency toward you
Too often, people stay in unhealthy and unhelpful friendships out of fear of being alone, inconvenienced, or creating conflict. Though these rationales for dismissing red flags can keep us in our comfort zone, they can limit us from finding better friendships and being true to ourselves. Ending a friendship can be daunting; for many, it goes against the concept of getting along with others and can cause significant distress. However, if a friendship is negatively impacting you, it may indicate that it is time to re-evaluate and consider breaking up.
Individual therapy can help you determine what friendships are positive and guide you in weeding out relationships that are no longer benefiting you. Intuitive Counseling provides teletherapy and specializes in dealing with complex relationships and boundaries. Call or text today at 720-689-6166 to take the steps of freeing yourself from unhealthy friendships!
