Why it’s Okay to be Excited for your Kids to Return to School
The therapy I provide for Parents includes working through feelings of shame and guilt to improve self-esteem and identify effective strategies to use with their children.
The most frequent question parents ask me at the end of summer is, “Is it bad that I can’t wait for the kids to go back to school?” The simple answer to that, is no!
Burnout is common for parents around this time of year.
They are hitting the three-month mark of having their kids home FULL-TIME during summer break and are ready for a break themselves.
But what happens when they admit this? Well, many experience shame and guilt.
Shame and guilt are frequently chunked together but have different meanings.
Shame is a negative sense of who you are as a person.
Includes feeling that you are bad or inadequate as a person.
Guilt is feeling bad, responsible, or remorseful for something you have done wrong or perceived that you did wrong.
Includes making a mistake, acting in an unacceptable way, or hurting someone (either intentionally or unintentionally).
Let me show you some examples of how shame and guilt can look in this context.
SHAME STATEMENTS
“I am terrible for wanting them to go back to school.”
“If I were a better parent, I would be sad about my kids going back to school.”
“If people knew how excited I was for a break from my kids, they would think I’m horrible.”
GUILT STATEMENTS
“Parenting is a full-time job, so being excited for them to return to school is a cop out.”
“If I say I am relieved for the school year to start, I could be signaling to my kids that they are a burden.”
“Now that summer is over, I realize I should have done more with the kids while they were on break.”
Okay, now you are aware of how parent guilt and shame look, so what is causing it?
Social media
Perceptions of perfect parents
Unrealistic expectations
Societal beliefs
Comparing self to others
Perceived abilities
Ideas on how to work on it:
Reframe negative self-talk
Unfollow social media accounts that promote unrealistic standards
Limit usage of social media
Redefine what being a “good parent” means to you
Get support from a therapist
Normalize being a human
For more support or guidance on maneuvering difficulties in parenting, reach out today!
